A week of little things

I’m going to do my gratitudes a little differently this week. It’s Tuesday, the week of Thanksgiving and I’ve been trying to focus on slowing down and taking note of the little glories in each day.

Saturday

I’m often the type to try to rush and do everything quickly and as soon as possible, but the Lord knows my tendencies and knows how to sit me down. My sister was coming to spend the weekend with me so initially I had planned to spend that morning running to and fro, but she was delayed a few hours into the afternoon. I woke up early to enjoy my morning as I usually do, but since she was delayed, I got a chance to crawl back into bed with my husband before he left for work and take a fantastic and much needed nap where I didn’t wake up into around 1 or 2 pm. I has been fighting off a fierce bought of allergies* and after that passed an actual cold. I woke up feeling so refreshed and better than I had in days. I was so grateful. When I got with my sister, we perused Target and my favorite boutique (I exercised self control when in the stores) and then we came home and relaxed. I finished some art pieces I had been working on and we cooked dinner until my husband came home. We ate dinner and I enjoyed the evening just doing nothing fancy.

Sunday

One of my best friends was in town so she came over that morning to go to church with us. I had a fantastic early morning meeting with God and was ready for church. We all rode together and chuckled through the sermon because we were in the overflow room and the audio was kind of hazy that day. Worship was beautiful and we went to lunch together afterwards at a new Eatery near us. Everyone got something different (I got a Philly Cheese Steak Hot Dog +Fries) and we just enjoyed the afternoon sunlight. After that my family and I went home, and my sister and I took a nap. We woke up and started prepping fish tacos and it went really well. I’ve been in the habit of trying to meal plan for the week in a way where I can use the ingredients in more than one dish to avoid waste and it actually worked out! I made mango salsa Saturday and we ate it with salmon the first day and had the rest for tacos the next night. The ingredients I used for the salsa, also doubled well for guac for our tacos and snacking. My husband, sister, and I sat around the table eating and chatting as we pulled stuff from their respective bowls to fill up our tacos. I didn’t have much food leftover which made me happy.

Monday

I started the morning with the reminder that the LORD Jesus is a friend and I was able to have an authentic moment with him where I didn’t feel the need to pretend. I treasure these moments when he reminds me of who He is and lean into his friendship. (He is more than able to help you with this anytime you’re struggling <3). I traveled to go visit my family for a few hours during the day, so I took my sister back home. We started the day with a great conversation that helped shine a light on some difficult pieces of life. We’re growing up and growing closer, and I love that. We met up with everyone, handled some business, and then went to lunch. We smashed some spinach artichoke dip which was a highlight because I had been craving it since October but never could have all the ingredients I needed all at once. We rode home listening to my mom tell stories about all of us when we were little which was really sweet. My mom had found some cute items for me I really liked so that felt great! I had an epiphany about appreciation and moderation being. feast (s/o to Chinatown) and really felt like I was more prepared to take in the week well. My evening was filled with quality time with my husband, James 3, revelation, deep conversations, crosses, laughter, jokes, and maturity. A great day <3

Tuesday

I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like the Lord runs the playlist in my head. If you ever start thinking of a song randomly, or all of a sudden a verse of a song just pops out of your mouth, sometimes I realize that those songs are messages from Jesus. This morning I woke up and immediately fear and anxiety tried to meet me at my first breath. Just as soon as fear tried to rush in, so did the lyrics, “Abba, I belong to you.” (Abba x Johnathon David Helser), start playing in my brain. I sang the song as I meandered from the bed to the bathroom to the couch where I sat down with Jesus. I played the song on Apple Music and just reminded myself of who God was to me. Whenever I’m feeling unstable or fearful, I know that grounding myself in the word and who God is steadies me. It was sweet that the Lord knew the same was the case and reminded me that he was my Abba, Father, which meant He was close, my protector, and had my best interest at heart. I just let the songs keep playing to set a tone for the morning, but the next song that played, completely unprompted and random was called, “Sound Mind” x Melissa Helser. The words spoke directly to the fear I was feeling. It was a declaration over my feelings. A declaration over my past struggles with mental health, depression, and anxiety. I was free and had to remind myself of the truth.

For those who have struggled in one area, and then feel pulled back in a moment or two, be encouraged. The Lord is with you. He will pull you from the pit, do not be afraid. Psalms 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me". Sometimes you feel old things, but do not believe that they are there to stay or that they have to. Those feelings are not what makes you you, they are not who you are. We find our identity in Christ. Surrender it to the Lord. The enemy wants you to believe that you are not healed or free, but indeed you are.

Speak truth over yourself, about who God is, who He is to you, for you. King. Almighty. Defender. Good. Healer. Friend. Remind yourself what the Lord has declared over you and do not accept the lies of the enemy no matter how real they may feel. Cling to truth. Reach out to others. Get in the word. Play music that speaks truth over you. Get under someone preaching the word on Youtube or otherwise.

I also encourage you that the Lord answers prayers because last night the lies of fear started knocking after a conversation about the hardships and struggles of faith, marriage, and life. I felt the fear and panic rising up as I walked to bed and laid down to sleep. Sometimes feelings feel very volatile and overwhelming so I told the Lord I was scared and I needed his help. He showed me this large cross seemingly traced on one of our windows. This was significant because this was the same window that someone had tried to break into a few months ago that sent me into a real toe to toe match with the fear I had been tolerating for too long. It overtook me and I had to do some deep work and surrender to the Lord digging up those seeds I had let grow in my heart. The Lord truly set me free, and by drawing my attention to this big cross traced across it, He was reminding me that He had us and fear was not welcome there. He kept us. We were his. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. In every area of our lives, marriage, faith, etc. That was only one way. I had also prayed that he help me believe and see the best and hope again beyond the fear, and he went over and beyond! Before the end of the night I experienced joy, love, restoration, laughter, jokes, hope, faith, and peace before I went to bed last night. He solidified his word and promise that morning through these songs and I felt more secure and at peace. HE IS GREAT! HOLY! LOVING! <33333333333 Seek him. Be honest. He’ll help you.

I really have been reminded of the power of speaking life/truth over ourselves, others, situations, and our relationships with Christ. If you are struggling with something. I encourage you to surrender to the Lord in honesty, “I can’t do this without you, I am weak, I am ____(scared, angry, sinful, prideful, stubborn, sad, numb, insecure, doubtful), BUT you are strong Lord! You can handle this.” and speak life, what the Lord says.

“I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. I am not ruled by my emotions. I am safe. I trust the lord. We depend on him. I desire to sit with the Lord. I desire to surrender everything to him. I believe He has my best interest at heart…etc.”

Rely on the Lord. Run to the Father. Fall into grace. (As I write this, my phone plays, “Run to the Father x Cody Carnes”).

Besides that my husband and I spent some quality time with my aunt and just got to enjoy not rushing. It was a lovely day. I’m grateful for a clean house and time to clean and organize what God has given me, I cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom, my living room, and FINALLY cleaned out my car. I finished the day with a quick meal from Chick-fil-a and the motivation to finally organize our office/studio that has become the catch all for all of our moving, registry, bulk items. I am getting a new desk tomorrow and have some vision for the rest of the house <3